


5 times John went shopping and 1 time Sherlock did it for him

by ShannonXL



Series: Shit My Sherlock Does [4]
Category: Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fem!Sherlock, Female Sherlock Holmes, Friendship, Humor, Male-Female Friendship, New York City, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Vignette, girl!sherlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-02
Packaged: 2018-02-03 02:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1727204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShannonXL/pseuds/ShannonXL
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Does what it says on the tin, more or less.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 times John went shopping and 1 time Sherlock did it for him

1.

-Bread

-Bananas

-Pickles

-Milk

 _-hydrogen peroxide_  Why?

 _-nylon rope_  Why?!  


 _-haggis_ WHY.

 

* * *

 

2.

-Garbage Bags

-Margarine

-Spaghetti

- _fried oreo_ Maybe

- _kale_  What

- _salt_ Not after last time

 

* * *

 

3.

-Eggs

-Bananas

-Beer

-Coffee Filters

- ~~Hot Dogs~~

-Ketchup

-Peanut Butter

I don’t care what you say we are getting hot dogs for the Fourth of July

 

_It’s not even a real holiday. We don’t have it in London_

 

You never gained independence from the monarchy!

 

* * *

 

4.

-Hummus (???) _it’s healthy John_

-Beans

-Bread

-Ground Beef

-Pepper

- _matches_ What happened to the other ones?!

- _live spiders_ We already have those

- _gunpowder_ No

- _gorilla glue_ No!

- _pg tips_ ABSOLUTELY NOT.

 

* * *

 

5.

- _hummus (you liked it)_

- _cigarettes_ Not in the living room

_-bananas_

_-eggs_

_-milk, 2%_

_- ~~whole grain~~ bread_ Nice try

- _digestives_

_-margarine_

_-vegetables, i.e. split peas, green beans, artichokes, you need more fiber_

_-coffee filters_

_-oatmeal_

 

I’m neither confirming nor denying my feelings on hummus until I find out what’s in it

 

* * *

 

 

“Sherlock, what’s all this?”

She steps lightly around the mess (her mess, the mess she’s left lying around on the floor all week, the mess John asked her to clean up earlier, the mess she’s been ignoring, her mess entirely); the plastic bags looped around her middle and ring fingers rattle. The sound is almost ominous. John is expecting lighter fluid, cow intestines, or, as on one memorable occasion, a packet of Mentos and a large bottle of diet Coke. So, when he sees a container of coffee ice cream, he can be forgiven for expecting it to be a trap.

“I understand it’s customary to eat ice cream after a break up.”

“We’re not broken up,” he says automatically, eyeing the ice cream. “And I don’t think that’s a ritual guys are supposed to go for.”

Sherlock shrugs, and two spoons materialize in her hand. She sits down next to John on the couch, perching on the edge like she’s ready to jump up in the air for a case at the drop of a hat. She swipes the book he was reading (trying to read, staring at, failing to absorb, ‘reading’), swapping it for the container of ice cream. She reaches for the remote before John can work up a protest, and one of the Bourne movies is on, and this all feels strongly like a set up.

He knows he’s never told her that, once Jason Bourne’s got his attention, he can’t help but see the movie all the way through. He’s never mentioned that coffee is his favorite flavor, or which brand he prefers. And even though he’s been saying all day that he hasn’t broken up with his girlfriend, he has some serious doubts that the ‘break’ they’re taking is going to end any time soon. 

Sherlock taps her toe impatiently against the floor.

“What. Sherlock, what?”

She shakes her head.

“I don’t want to spoil it for you.”

John rolls his eyes.

“Tell me what.”

She sighs, but there’s a spark in her eye and a curve to her lip and John knows she’s enjoying herself as she tears apart the movie and its apparent lack of realism. The night comes and goes and John learns more about international espionage and European traffic laws than he ever wanted to know. 

In the morning, he finds the rest of the matches in his shaving kit, and he’s only a little irate about it. 


End file.
